And then it all fell through...

It was a simple day, a day like any other. Where everybody leaves, but no one even bothers. It only took a second, for me to realize. That misery would beckon and I would never rise. So... "Jolly good !" I thought... "I really need a drink !". In blood red tasteful wine, my misery I'll sink. So I began to gulp, the blood red sip by sip, and not a single drop, I had in mind to skip. And then I singed, then cried, then smiled for a while. But ultimately all I did was end up in denial. About my plans for life, about those for myself. About the stacked up feelings I push onto a shelf. About the walls inside me that build up when I hurt. About my role as jester in life's untimely court. And then it all fell through... it blew up in my face, it felt as I'd transcended the plain yet wicked space. And time was but a factor that never had a say, in what I'd choose to stand by or in my woozy sway. I zigged and zagged my way up, on fate's unkindred string, and hoped that it would break as did my only wing. When I decided poorly , to follow this false path, I knew that I would give up my honest right to laugh. I barely force a smile, but doubt it's even true. And now I know why sadness, embraced the color blue.